For God's Sake

St. Bernard of Clairvaux was a monk who lived between the 11th and 12th century. In one of St. Bernard's books, "De amore Dei" (Of the love of God), he writes that loving God is to love Him without measure and gives the four degrees of this love.

The first degree of love is to love self for self's sake. Also known as the law of self-preservation, this is the basic form of love that comes equipped on every make and model child born on the planet. It is at this level that we channel our survival instincts. This basic form of love is essential for life. When one commits suicide, it is almost always because they have never progressed past this level of love. And by not moving to another level, they had nowhere to go when the circumstances of this life knocked them back a notch. This level is located in the lobby of your heart. There's nothing below this. And without this degree, life cannot exist.

The second degree of love is to love God for self's sake. This is the "You scratch my back, I scratch your back" level of love. We love ourselves so much, that we can't stand for others not to. This level gives birth to all forms of relationships. Where the first degree takes care of our survival as an individual, this level seeks survival as a species. We realize there is strength in numbers and the sense of community makes life easier for us. Our relationships tend to be shallow from the start, but we are OK with that. How many times have you given love to someone, for the sole purpose of receiving love from them? Try this exercise. Count the number of broke, needy, and hurting friends you have and compare it with the rich, stable, and healthy ones. Sure, we may know people who suck the life out of us, but we sure as hell don't go to the movies with them. Why would we? They already owe us $20.

It is in the second degree that most religions Christians call home. Because this stage is still self-serving, it is not uncommon for them to simply warm the pew, give a few bucks, and go home. Their goal may not necessarily be to seek God, but to receive answers. We want to be relevant in this universe, and we want to have purpose. In our search for these answers, we become open to all people, and all gods. This is the main reason we see NO contradiction in the various religions. All religions claim exclusivity to God. Any person claiming there are many ways to God are either ignorant, or lying as to NOT offend in hopes of keeping multiple citizenship. (think politicians) The goal is not ultimate truth, but ultimate comfort. And if your religion gives me a warm fuzzy, we'll continue to give you the nod, but don't expect more than that.

The third degree of love is to love God for His sake. It is at this level that we show our maturity. We have a deeper love for God and one another. Our own best interests are usually an afterthought. We actually enjoy loving others and are genuinely interested in them. We are less likely to choose where we're going to eat, because it's not important. The point isn't to eat. The point is to further our relationship. Marriages have matured from having someone spend THEIR life "on" me, to spending MY life "with" them.

As selfish as they are, no one gets to the third stage unless they go through the pain of the first two. At this level, you realize, it truly IS better to give than to receive. You are no longer scratching backs and trading services. You are creating happiness. It is here that we begin to loosen the grip on our wallets, schedules, and reputation. People here see past the 3 dimensional view of their world. They see people as eternal beings created in God's image.

The fourth degree of love is to love self for God's sake. These people are rare, but easy to spot. They are not always in monasteries, convents, or pulpits. You'll see them at the gym, but not posing in the mirror. You'll see them at restaurants, but not eating too much. You'll see them drinking, but never drunk. These are the ones who have reached a level that allows them to love themselves, life, and others to the fullest. They realized that if Christ died for them, they must be really important. And if Christ died for the whole world, then the whole world is just as important. These people have found the balance between heavenly minded and earthly good. For them, it's not about just breathing as long as you can, but getting the most out of every breath. They take care of themselves, not because of vanity, but because they know there body is a gift, and they are grateful. They cherish life and the Giver of life. They never judge you, because they are too busy being grateful for their own pardon. They are masters at separating the sin from the sinner. Knowing how precious their life really is, they still believe yours is slightly more valuable.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wrong. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. - 1Corinthians 13:4-7

May all of us experience love, for God's sake.